Well – I’ve had various versions of how this post would go, running around in my head for the last 24 hours. I’m not really sure if what’s about to come out will make sense to many of you – but actually that doesn’t matter too much – this is just as much for me to make sense of, as it is for you.
Yesterday I became a bona fide Homie. Thank you Emma & Pete - even from when I first signed up to do your Workshop I knew it was going to be something special. What I didn’t realise was just how amazing and how much of an impact it would have. I’m still trying to figure out and pinpoint exactly what it has meant to me – and to be honest I think I’m going to give up trying and just let it….. well…be. But here are just a few things that I came away with …..
- I need to hug more! I’ve always loved a good hug – but being who I am, I resist the urge to ‘just hug’ way too often. Now – I’m going to just do it. Just hug (so look out!).
- It’s not just me. I’m not the only one who’s scared shitless – a lot! I’m not the only one who is constantly on that roller coaster of self doubt. I’m not the only one who loves a pretty business card!!
- Crying is not a sign of weakness – it’s a sign of passion & it’s ok to cry – a lot! (note to self – always carry extra tissues – crying is also contagious!)
- I’m way too inhibited. This is not an easy thing to fix either (well not without a load of rum anyway!) – but I’m determined to give it a go. What’s the worst thing that could happen? ( a great big crocodile could come out and eat me????)
- Sticky-uppy hair envy – Chris - you think I was joking when I asked how you did it. Well I wasn’t!!
- a whole lot of new fab friends (from ALL over the world) – not just fellow photographers, not just colleagues, not just a support network – but friends
- I need to put myself ‘out there’ more (refer to current post – check)
- I’m not the only one to drop the c bomb every now and then… (which reminds me of a funny story - Driving in the car with Riley (my son aged 7 1/2) , listening to Radio 1, he suddenly asks ‘did he ( the guy singing) just say the C word?’ Slightly terrified at what the answer might be – I ask anyway – ‘ what’s the C word?’ He starts to spell it ‘C-R-A……..’ Phew!!!)
At the end of the course we were all asked to say a little something about what we got out of the day (cue the tears) and I knew that what I came out with wouldn’t really explain what I felt. What I really wanted to do was explode – jump up and down, cry my eyes out, swear a lot (happy swearing) hug everyone and say something really cool, witty, meaningful and heartfelt. That didn’t happen (refer to working on becoming less inhibited). But Emma & Pete and all my fellow homies – please believe me when I say that’s what was happening on the inside. Hopefully one of these days I’ll be able to let a bit of the crazy out and that maybe one of you will be there to see it (or maybe not!).
Till then, my crazy continues safely on the inside.
Now this is the hardest bit for me – sharing the following images – that I took – in front of whole lot of awesomely talented people. But here goes…….
Right – I can’t put if off any longer…. #WelcomeHome2014